Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The Trek
Well, I did it. 26 km of trekking through forest, scrubland and up almost vertical bits. And Im home in one piece and functioning except for aching knees. Well, no mercy to them as I've been trying to write this and have been interrupted at least twenty times. Grown kids can be just as bad young ones when it comes to depending on you.
After a 2 hour journey over very bad road in a rickety jeep, we reached the forest hut and stayed there last night.Hut is a misnomer because it has all facilities except power.
Early this morning we started off with a guide. The first hour was through the forest which meant ducking under fallen branches and leaping over others and fording little streams. Then came wide open grassland till we forded the stream. Everyone was happily enthusiastic. After that were 3 hills with the path going almost vertically up across the hill. Then we were walking at our own pace inspite of the guide hurrying us up. He hardly let us sit or drink water.
Mukurthi peak is one of the highest peaks in the Nilgiris.It sits in a National Sanctuary of its own and the Forest department is doing its best to preserve it that way. We did see some deer and a wild boar and bison, but not a glimpse of a tiger though there were fresh pug marks at the water. At the peak, is a little temple.
Midway I was wondering why we needed to do this. To prove something?
If anyone is wondering why I am wearing some crazy clothes, it was because I forgot to take mine there. I really don't blame myself because I was in a real tizzy when we left. Coordinating the jeep driver and the guide, getting more and more clearances from the various officials, putting together the ingredients for three meals and all that might be needed for an overnight stay, warm clothes for all inbetween picking and dropping the kids at the lake and answering unrelated phone calls, while of course battling all my worries in the background - will it rain, will it be slippery, will the jeep driver turn up, will we make it, will I be able to walk....?
Sindhu, who elected to get onto a bus and join us suddenly, said' ma you've organised so many things, why are you stressed out?'A remark that really doesn't help when you are falling apart.
But the Gods were kind. And it was a great trip
Monday, March 17, 2008
what 's happening
When I started blogging, it was purely catharsis. I was writing things that I felt and thought with much less inhibition then I would have if I was actually speaking to someone. I did tell some members of my family about it, but as usual, they didn't take much notice of it. So I blithely continued sounding off.
Then one day, suddenly I realised that people were reading the blog and they were people I didnt know. So, suddenly I was saying 'my daughter' instead of Sindhu and so on.Changes were made unconsciously.
A little while later, I realise that I don't speak my mind so freely anymore. 'what will they think'? is something that does come in. Negative thoughts are not written about so much. I have to strive now to be 'me.'
All I can say is, I will keep striving and not get slotted into a persona I think other people think is me.
To the handful of regular readers, who might be wondering if I've gone done under - I've been away for a few days. And now have the house and my time filled with a few friends of Darshini, my elder daughter - shopping, cooking, chopping, driving.
But its worth all the trouble when I can feast my eyes on a group of people tucking into 2 different types of cake and gulab jamuns just after a large breakfast. To the cook, it is wonderful after getting used to a crowd of middle aged low carb- low fat- low cholestrol-low cal- No, no no types.
We are contemplating a long long trek the day after tomorrow in virgin forest land. I had to sit outside the DFOs office for many many hours to get permission for this trip which were sad, to say filled with many many unbecoming thoughts.
I thought the trek was 2 hours up and 2 hours down, but i hear that it's more like 8 hours up and 8 hours down.
Im trying not to think of my very unathletic state. And if I can cope. This could be my last chance to do the trek. So, if I survive, I will be back here- with a limp maybe but victorious :-)))))))))))
Then one day, suddenly I realised that people were reading the blog and they were people I didnt know. So, suddenly I was saying 'my daughter' instead of Sindhu and so on.Changes were made unconsciously.
A little while later, I realise that I don't speak my mind so freely anymore. 'what will they think'? is something that does come in. Negative thoughts are not written about so much. I have to strive now to be 'me.'
All I can say is, I will keep striving and not get slotted into a persona I think other people think is me.
To the handful of regular readers, who might be wondering if I've gone done under - I've been away for a few days. And now have the house and my time filled with a few friends of Darshini, my elder daughter - shopping, cooking, chopping, driving.
But its worth all the trouble when I can feast my eyes on a group of people tucking into 2 different types of cake and gulab jamuns just after a large breakfast. To the cook, it is wonderful after getting used to a crowd of middle aged low carb- low fat- low cholestrol-low cal- No, no no types.
We are contemplating a long long trek the day after tomorrow in virgin forest land. I had to sit outside the DFOs office for many many hours to get permission for this trip which were sad, to say filled with many many unbecoming thoughts.
I thought the trek was 2 hours up and 2 hours down, but i hear that it's more like 8 hours up and 8 hours down.
Im trying not to think of my very unathletic state. And if I can cope. This could be my last chance to do the trek. So, if I survive, I will be back here- with a limp maybe but victorious :-)))))))))))
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Women's Day -We have come a long way Baby
I thought Women's Day had gone by y'day without me even noticing it. Till Anandhi called in high spirits to ask how I was celebrating it.She had big plans since 3 of the kids were there, to go the beach and dinner with a few more friends. This year, no one seems to want to hear my words of wisdom ;-())
I did get quite a few messages about Shakthi etc so it couldn't have gone by quietly. besides a lot of programs on TV.But, I notice the Western channels are not really talking about this day. Maybe we Indians just need a reason to celebrate or we get only movie channels.
And I don't see anything wrong in celebrating. Glorious womanhood, or our emancipation on paper or the eternal fight to assert ourselves. A day just for us is not too bad. And the Shivsena is not objecting.So why not some fun and frolic whatever the excuse.
1857 is supposed to have been when it originated. The fight for equal labour laws and other laws. A mutiny that began with the Sepoy Mutiny?
I did get quite a few messages about Shakthi etc so it couldn't have gone by quietly. besides a lot of programs on TV.But, I notice the Western channels are not really talking about this day. Maybe we Indians just need a reason to celebrate or we get only movie channels.
And I don't see anything wrong in celebrating. Glorious womanhood, or our emancipation on paper or the eternal fight to assert ourselves. A day just for us is not too bad. And the Shivsena is not objecting.So why not some fun and frolic whatever the excuse.
1857 is supposed to have been when it originated. The fight for equal labour laws and other laws. A mutiny that began with the Sepoy Mutiny?
She did it With Mirrors
I've been getting so much flak from the rest of the family about the awfully long time its taken to get the house painted - that I have had to show them why. Or at least what. And grin and take it.
So I thought I might put the pictures here too. One monsoon and one dog and one year later, its all going to be quite different. So this is a way to remember how it was.
I admit freely to being adventurous. And slightly mad. So feel free to think and say what you like. You can't be too bad after my family :-))))
Nothing is as good or as bad as the pics
So I thought I might put the pictures here too. One monsoon and one dog and one year later, its all going to be quite different. So this is a way to remember how it was.
I admit freely to being adventurous. And slightly mad. So feel free to think and say what you like. You can't be too bad after my family :-))))
Nothing is as good or as bad as the pics
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Tilled Earth
Tilled Earth by Manjushree Thapa is a collection of not just stories - but notes too about Nepal.
About a spectrum of subjects. From the Buddha to a delicate story about a woman cowherd battling for justice and her hard life. There are quite a few about love- a student falling in love, the throes of passion leading to marriage which becomes a mistake, a foreigner trekking in Nepal, a sojourn in Paris with a college friend that turns rather disappointing.
Good reading.
'And actually I do not want him, what I want is to be like him. I want the gall, the gumption- for that is what it takes- to ask people I do not know if I may come into their lives, without fearing that they might hurt me, I want to know ,truly know, others, reach out to people who would otherwise just come and go, passing through my life as strangers. '
About a spectrum of subjects. From the Buddha to a delicate story about a woman cowherd battling for justice and her hard life. There are quite a few about love- a student falling in love, the throes of passion leading to marriage which becomes a mistake, a foreigner trekking in Nepal, a sojourn in Paris with a college friend that turns rather disappointing.
Good reading.
'And actually I do not want him, what I want is to be like him. I want the gall, the gumption- for that is what it takes- to ask people I do not know if I may come into their lives, without fearing that they might hurt me, I want to know ,truly know, others, reach out to people who would otherwise just come and go, passing through my life as strangers. '
Guru
I finally saw Guru - because the staircase was being painted and I couldn't get downstairs to the computer.
Mani Rathnam's movies are life glossed over. Or airbrushed which makes viewing very pleasant. Everyone is well dressed,the scenes and settings are real art work. People all speak in the same kind of middle class educated tones whatever class they are supposed to belong to. There is sorrow sometimes, but the characters are never broken by it. Before there used to be lots of whispering and dark tones, now he's over that, Thank God.
Romance is always cute in his movies. And from a man, who said in an interview- Love? who knows? its one convincing note in his movies. The devotion between Guru and his wife in this movie is no exception. Makes one yearn a bit, wondering if this kind of thing is ever real? In his movies, Sivaji always has a terrific partnership with his wife while Rajini is devoted to his mother instead.
At first, seeing Abhishek spout Tiruneveli Tamil was disconcerting. But one soon got caught up and forgot. His expressions, that twisted smile and one drooping lip convey a completely different character.This is a wheeler- dealer business man and you have to admire him or Dhirubhai. You can feel the energy.
Ash as usual is just herself. Hardly the typical Indian matron. She never ages while Guru does, fast. Madhavan looks younger, more handsome and fits his part of the cold headed journalist. Mithun with Nazer's voice coming out of him is slightly jarring. But good as Gandhian idealist. Vidya Balan is too pretty for a wheelchair.
With all the negatives one can pinpoint, Manirathnam is still a master entertainer.
Mani Rathnam's movies are life glossed over. Or airbrushed which makes viewing very pleasant. Everyone is well dressed,the scenes and settings are real art work. People all speak in the same kind of middle class educated tones whatever class they are supposed to belong to. There is sorrow sometimes, but the characters are never broken by it. Before there used to be lots of whispering and dark tones, now he's over that, Thank God.
Romance is always cute in his movies. And from a man, who said in an interview- Love? who knows? its one convincing note in his movies. The devotion between Guru and his wife in this movie is no exception. Makes one yearn a bit, wondering if this kind of thing is ever real? In his movies, Sivaji always has a terrific partnership with his wife while Rajini is devoted to his mother instead.
At first, seeing Abhishek spout Tiruneveli Tamil was disconcerting. But one soon got caught up and forgot. His expressions, that twisted smile and one drooping lip convey a completely different character.This is a wheeler- dealer business man and you have to admire him or Dhirubhai. You can feel the energy.
Ash as usual is just herself. Hardly the typical Indian matron. She never ages while Guru does, fast. Madhavan looks younger, more handsome and fits his part of the cold headed journalist. Mithun with Nazer's voice coming out of him is slightly jarring. But good as Gandhian idealist. Vidya Balan is too pretty for a wheelchair.
With all the negatives one can pinpoint, Manirathnam is still a master entertainer.
Junk?
Raji and Indrani have written to say they have problems actually deciding what is junk?
I don't think we see what we keep and keep as junk. We hang on to a lot of things out of sentimentality or because we think it 's going to come in useful one day.
The old rule used to be 'If you haven't used it for 7 years, then throw it out'.
Now its more like if you haven't used it for one, then throw it out. This could apply to our clothes especially. We have piles waiting for us to shrink into them.
I liked a rule of Sudha Murthy's. When you buy a new one, give away an old one.
I used to think that having more cupboard space was the answer. But the more shelf space we have, the more we tend to fill them. I’ve been doing my best to get rid of clutter lately. My maid is carrying away stuff everyday now that we’ve been painting and have had to turn out every cupboard. Still, the rest?
We all like to give away things. But feel it must reach the right people.
-I’ve been sending clothes to our local municipal school. It gives me a real kick when I visit the school and see my duppatas being used to cover computers and tables)
-Reducing the piles of carry bags, paper bags and gift paper that wrapped the gifts ) to strict limits. We save each one, and very often, don’t use them.
-Took a bag of old spectacle cases ( my husband even had lenses saved from frames that broke) to the local charity eye hospital .
-Cut out the pics I really wanted from piles of old Inside outside and femina etc and donated the feminas to the beauty parlour and the mags to friends on condition they never return them.
-Donated fiction we re never going to reread to the library.
-Am trying to get a friend to start a book bank for college students so I can leave the crates of text books there. Computer texts especially get so outdated its better someone uses them now. Both my kids are finishing college this year. So they are sure to come back with piles of books and other things I have to store uselessly for years or get rid of them right now
-Coming down strongly on my habit of keeping sweaters, shoes, books, games for guests. They come only once a year and they can manage somehow.
-The Reader’s Digest , Indrani are going to a friend. Her husband leads a semi retied life at home so he is happy to get them. Maybe a Retired People’s association in your neighbourhood?
I found a box of brass items which I’d stored so as to rotate the display stuff periodically. Of course I never did any such thing. Now I know I don’t need them at all. But who can I give them to?
I don't think we see what we keep and keep as junk. We hang on to a lot of things out of sentimentality or because we think it 's going to come in useful one day.
The old rule used to be 'If you haven't used it for 7 years, then throw it out'.
Now its more like if you haven't used it for one, then throw it out. This could apply to our clothes especially. We have piles waiting for us to shrink into them.
I liked a rule of Sudha Murthy's. When you buy a new one, give away an old one.
I used to think that having more cupboard space was the answer. But the more shelf space we have, the more we tend to fill them. I’ve been doing my best to get rid of clutter lately. My maid is carrying away stuff everyday now that we’ve been painting and have had to turn out every cupboard. Still, the rest?
We all like to give away things. But feel it must reach the right people.
-I’ve been sending clothes to our local municipal school. It gives me a real kick when I visit the school and see my duppatas being used to cover computers and tables)
-Reducing the piles of carry bags, paper bags and gift paper that wrapped the gifts ) to strict limits. We save each one, and very often, don’t use them.
-Took a bag of old spectacle cases ( my husband even had lenses saved from frames that broke) to the local charity eye hospital .
-Cut out the pics I really wanted from piles of old Inside outside and femina etc and donated the feminas to the beauty parlour and the mags to friends on condition they never return them.
-Donated fiction we re never going to reread to the library.
-Am trying to get a friend to start a book bank for college students so I can leave the crates of text books there. Computer texts especially get so outdated its better someone uses them now. Both my kids are finishing college this year. So they are sure to come back with piles of books and other things I have to store uselessly for years or get rid of them right now
-Coming down strongly on my habit of keeping sweaters, shoes, books, games for guests. They come only once a year and they can manage somehow.
-The Reader’s Digest , Indrani are going to a friend. Her husband leads a semi retied life at home so he is happy to get them. Maybe a Retired People’s association in your neighbourhood?
I found a box of brass items which I’d stored so as to rotate the display stuff periodically. Of course I never did any such thing. Now I know I don’t need them at all. But who can I give them to?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Notes to Myself
These are Notes to Myself ( or to anyone else who is venturing into the same rocky territory) for the next time I decide to paint house. Hopefully, many years away. Only, painting house is like having a baby. You forget the pain soon and do it again.
1. Practise meditation for a year before.So you become single minded and decisive.
You could then call up something like Asian paints ( or the local equivalent) and tell them, I want this colour here,and that shade there. Now how much? When will you start and when will you finish? Any overruns and wastage will have to be borne by you.
If you are going to stand on one leg and consider the colour the painter has just started on one wall with one eye closed and say 'Do I want this or a lighter shade or a different colour?' then be prepared to shorten your life and lengthen your interaction with the painter.
2. Be prepared to be a home-bird for the while.
Do not expect the painters to treat your furniture with care and consideration unless you fix your beady eye on them. And to close all paint tins when they are going home and put things like ladders away. They need occasional or frequent- depending on how much you think they can take - reminders.
3. Do not cover large stretches of wall with a dark colour.
Its rather overpowering. Use bright and dark colours on little bits of wall. Its alright to be adventurous. You will soon get used to any mistakes. But intersperse with pastels and whites.
4. Time and money will be stretched.
Be prepared for both. A little spirituality or philosophy helps here.
5. Keep the basic necessities and comforts of life where you can reach them always.
This includes toilet stuff, clothes, the murukku dappa ( this is more important than food) and TV( for your spouse).
6. Do not get perturbed by reactions from your spouse.
He may choose to act like Inspector Clouseau at night insisting that a rat has got into the house because you left the doors open all day long while you may serenely believe the rustling is due to papers blowing in the wind. You will be so tired that you can sleep through anything anyway.
7. Do not expect any support from the family.
They may offer opinions , strong ones after the painting has been done but will offer very few before. Just go with your instincts. Do not expect bouquets either. That is really expecting too much.
8. Do a little project of your own while you are housebound.
A mural on one large wall is a good idea with the colours being used in the house. It keeps you occupied pleasantly, you are not breathing down the painter's back, you can take a break looking around at things and you don't have to be particularly good at painting to do this. After all many village women are doing it.
9. Practise yoga for a few months to follow 8.
Otherwise you will end up with aches all over.
10. Take it Easy.
Check under the washbasins, door and window edges, meter box, inside cupboards - these are the forgotten areas that I've detected.
The colors, the finishes , the bits they have left undone and gone away -nothing really matters after a while.
1. Practise meditation for a year before.So you become single minded and decisive.
You could then call up something like Asian paints ( or the local equivalent) and tell them, I want this colour here,and that shade there. Now how much? When will you start and when will you finish? Any overruns and wastage will have to be borne by you.
If you are going to stand on one leg and consider the colour the painter has just started on one wall with one eye closed and say 'Do I want this or a lighter shade or a different colour?' then be prepared to shorten your life and lengthen your interaction with the painter.
2. Be prepared to be a home-bird for the while.
Do not expect the painters to treat your furniture with care and consideration unless you fix your beady eye on them. And to close all paint tins when they are going home and put things like ladders away. They need occasional or frequent- depending on how much you think they can take - reminders.
3. Do not cover large stretches of wall with a dark colour.
Its rather overpowering. Use bright and dark colours on little bits of wall. Its alright to be adventurous. You will soon get used to any mistakes. But intersperse with pastels and whites.
4. Time and money will be stretched.
Be prepared for both. A little spirituality or philosophy helps here.
5. Keep the basic necessities and comforts of life where you can reach them always.
This includes toilet stuff, clothes, the murukku dappa ( this is more important than food) and TV( for your spouse).
6. Do not get perturbed by reactions from your spouse.
He may choose to act like Inspector Clouseau at night insisting that a rat has got into the house because you left the doors open all day long while you may serenely believe the rustling is due to papers blowing in the wind. You will be so tired that you can sleep through anything anyway.
7. Do not expect any support from the family.
They may offer opinions , strong ones after the painting has been done but will offer very few before. Just go with your instincts. Do not expect bouquets either. That is really expecting too much.
8. Do a little project of your own while you are housebound.
A mural on one large wall is a good idea with the colours being used in the house. It keeps you occupied pleasantly, you are not breathing down the painter's back, you can take a break looking around at things and you don't have to be particularly good at painting to do this. After all many village women are doing it.
9. Practise yoga for a few months to follow 8.
Otherwise you will end up with aches all over.
10. Take it Easy.
Check under the washbasins, door and window edges, meter box, inside cupboards - these are the forgotten areas that I've detected.
The colors, the finishes , the bits they have left undone and gone away -nothing really matters after a while.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Crisp Newness
The painting inside the house is done. The house is slowly, very slowly moving back to orderliness. My life, is unfortunately still functioning on a different note from the leisurely do-nothing-unpleasant it has been holding for some time.
I feel rather uneasy in the house.Everything is crisp and clean and strange. I hesitate to put grubby hands even on a light switch. I can't be casual.It's like living in someone else's house. Exciting but formal.
At first the empty rooms looked wonderful. Then they got a bit filled with our not-so-smart furniture, and looked less like an ad for good living. Then came all the little things we need for comfort but aren't so good looking like the room heater on an old stool, the scattered clothes and books and stuff that is yet to find a place. Its fast becoming a bunch of rooms called home.
We are determined to throw out lots of stuff. But whose?
My husband thinks the fiction should go out first, I feel his piles of medical journals can go. I found a carton of farewell gifts to my kids from their school days. Since they have never looked at them on subsequents trips home, do they actually hold any sentimental value?
We have decided to let go of 10 years worth of Reader's Digest. But to the old newspaper guy? That is difficult. To some soul who will treasure them seems ideal but a vain hope.
I feel rather uneasy in the house.Everything is crisp and clean and strange. I hesitate to put grubby hands even on a light switch. I can't be casual.It's like living in someone else's house. Exciting but formal.
At first the empty rooms looked wonderful. Then they got a bit filled with our not-so-smart furniture, and looked less like an ad for good living. Then came all the little things we need for comfort but aren't so good looking like the room heater on an old stool, the scattered clothes and books and stuff that is yet to find a place. Its fast becoming a bunch of rooms called home.
We are determined to throw out lots of stuff. But whose?
My husband thinks the fiction should go out first, I feel his piles of medical journals can go. I found a carton of farewell gifts to my kids from their school days. Since they have never looked at them on subsequents trips home, do they actually hold any sentimental value?
We have decided to let go of 10 years worth of Reader's Digest. But to the old newspaper guy? That is difficult. To some soul who will treasure them seems ideal but a vain hope.
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