When I started blogging, it was purely catharsis. I was writing things that I felt and thought with much less inhibition then I would have if I was actually speaking to someone. I did tell some members of my family about it, but as usual, they didn't take much notice of it. So I blithely continued sounding off.
Then one day, suddenly I realised that people were reading the blog and they were people I didnt know. So, suddenly I was saying 'my daughter' instead of Sindhu and so on.Changes were made unconsciously.
A little while later, I realise that I don't speak my mind so freely anymore. 'what will they think'? is something that does come in. Negative thoughts are not written about so much. I have to strive now to be 'me.'
All I can say is, I will keep striving and not get slotted into a persona I think other people think is me.
To the handful of regular readers, who might be wondering if I've gone done under - I've been away for a few days. And now have the house and my time filled with a few friends of Darshini, my elder daughter - shopping, cooking, chopping, driving.
But its worth all the trouble when I can feast my eyes on a group of people tucking into 2 different types of cake and gulab jamuns just after a large breakfast. To the cook, it is wonderful after getting used to a crowd of middle aged low carb- low fat- low cholestrol-low cal- No, no no types.
We are contemplating a long long trek the day after tomorrow in virgin forest land. I had to sit outside the DFOs office for many many hours to get permission for this trip which were sad, to say filled with many many unbecoming thoughts.
I thought the trek was 2 hours up and 2 hours down, but i hear that it's more like 8 hours up and 8 hours down.
Im trying not to think of my very unathletic state. And if I can cope. This could be my last chance to do the trek. So, if I survive, I will be back here- with a limp maybe but victorious :-)))))))))))
3 comments:
Please purchase couple of knee caps and anklets.. it'll be available in any sports shop. Will be helpful in an emegency for sprains or if knees hurt, would help to keep the joint gripped firmly.
Also remember to carry iodex sprays.
Have heard rumours about tigers (real ones)and elephants in your forests... if it's an Ele that chases, remember to run downhill... if it's a tiger... mmmm I think some enlightened blogger would give suggestion here.
trekking in virgin forest land for 8 hrs ????
Hope you people know how to send smoke signals..!!!!!
Your description of your anticipatory limp made me smile. My sister, who lives near Darjeeling, had just returned from a visit to Gangtok and called me. She said now she knew why the actor Dev Anand had that peculiar walk - the forward bent shuffle, and arms hanging all the way down to his knees. "All the shooting in Gangtok for his 'Jewel Thief' must have done it to him," she said. "For I am walking like that now, after all that climbing up and down."
And it must be fun to have young folks at home. Enjoy.
Thanks Newton, for all those tips. Though we all twisted ankles slightly, no major catastrophes.And no sight of tiger or elephant either.
Raji, yes we were looking down most of the time.To watch out for those roots that trip and the mud that slides.So neck and shoulders get really worked besides legs. Yes, having young people around is cheering though I can scream at times:-))
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