Jane Fonda:
With all your success, fame, money and everything else, the true test of you as a person is in your relationships.
I was 60 when i decided I had to be the person i really am with the man I love. I had to come out of being Jane Fonda and be that person. It took a lot of courage and it took two years; by the end of which I was alone.
Even I , have this desire to please. We have to break that. That we have to please the men around us.
At 50 or 60, people seem to be going away to be alone. But they are deciding on how they actually want to live their lives. Thinking this is how I want to live. And these are the things I should do ,so that I wont have regrets when I die.
One step is writing this blog. Where I am really trying to strip me.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Rain, rain , rain, why do you stay with us so much?
Rain- a luxury of the rich? Like Cleanliness and morals
At least people who enjoy it dont seem to have to worry about clothes that never dry, going out in socks and shoes that are never quite dry, umbrellas that cant keep the rain from dripping down your neck, and walking through mud and puddles and avoiding those cars that will splash you. Not to talk about damp creeeping in through walls and water coming in under doors and the drip drip from somewhere falling into buckets and vessels. And learning the strategy of walking on a pavement and lifting your umbrella up just-in-time to avoid other people's.
Thank you God, I dont have to take a bus in this.
Yeah, rain is about hot pakodas and coffee and a cosy feeling and freshness and nice books and cosy blankets.Yeah, dont forget poetry.
Maybe when you live with Mummy or Wifey or just in a hot place where it rains 4 times a year. And go out by car.
Or maybe you are just happy whatever happens.
At least people who enjoy it dont seem to have to worry about clothes that never dry, going out in socks and shoes that are never quite dry, umbrellas that cant keep the rain from dripping down your neck, and walking through mud and puddles and avoiding those cars that will splash you. Not to talk about damp creeeping in through walls and water coming in under doors and the drip drip from somewhere falling into buckets and vessels. And learning the strategy of walking on a pavement and lifting your umbrella up just-in-time to avoid other people's.
Thank you God, I dont have to take a bus in this.
Yeah, rain is about hot pakodas and coffee and a cosy feeling and freshness and nice books and cosy blankets.Yeah, dont forget poetry.
Maybe when you live with Mummy or Wifey or just in a hot place where it rains 4 times a year. And go out by car.
Or maybe you are just happy whatever happens.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Marriage :A Take, rather many takes
Marriage: A Take, rather many takes
Traditional Indian woman : You get 3 meals, some sarees, a couple or more kids from whom you derive some sort of emotional satisfaction and support sometimes, a roof over your head, an identity as someone's wife which could keep you safe from marauding males; and someone you can have sex with legally , enjoyable or not.
In return, you look after home and hearth, him and his, blend your interests with his.
You now become the identity of the family.
The family you were born into takes a second d place. If it doesn’t, God help you. Because you will never find the first place in ‘your man’s heart.
The romantic man or woman: You blend the two I’s into a ‘we’. Everything has to be looked at from this point. Is this good for us? It is us against the world. We share ideas, efforts, the bed, the house, holidays, friends, email-ids. We do things together, even going to the dentist. We are there for each other. We help each other grow. He or she is the person I totally trust.
Middle aged woman who is finding herself: The person you marry is one of the relationships in your life. It shouldn’t be more important than the one you share with your kids, your parents, your siblings, your friends, whoever is important to you.
Difficult, because by doctrination, you've given him the idea that he is and should be the centre of your universe. You don’t do things which he doesn’t like. With many many women, it’s a case of fear. Not only of physical or verbal violence . Even of just causing displeasure and sulks. You don’t want unpleasantness in the home.
He is used to you cajoling him ou tof his sulks. After all, whom else does he have? Himself. He doesn't know who he is while you are around.
Now, its getting tiring. But you’ve set that pattern and neither he nor you canbreak it.
By giving in so often, you've given him the power over you. You have created the person that he has become and now you want out?
At least of the subtle power he as over you to cut your calls when he comes in; of hiding relationships even tho innocent from him, of not being yourself completely when he is around.
Anna Quindlen in Rise and Shine: It’s the biggest arrangement of all. You make me look smart and I make you look kind. You make me look rich and I make you look generous. You make me look interesting and I make you look credible.
Its not about whether people like each other or love each other or have sex with each other or want to be with each other. It is a deal.
Traditional Indian woman : You get 3 meals, some sarees, a couple or more kids from whom you derive some sort of emotional satisfaction and support sometimes, a roof over your head, an identity as someone's wife which could keep you safe from marauding males; and someone you can have sex with legally , enjoyable or not.
In return, you look after home and hearth, him and his, blend your interests with his.
You now become the identity of the family.
The family you were born into takes a second d place. If it doesn’t, God help you. Because you will never find the first place in ‘your man’s heart.
The romantic man or woman: You blend the two I’s into a ‘we’. Everything has to be looked at from this point. Is this good for us? It is us against the world. We share ideas, efforts, the bed, the house, holidays, friends, email-ids. We do things together, even going to the dentist. We are there for each other. We help each other grow. He or she is the person I totally trust.
Middle aged woman who is finding herself: The person you marry is one of the relationships in your life. It shouldn’t be more important than the one you share with your kids, your parents, your siblings, your friends, whoever is important to you.
Difficult, because by doctrination, you've given him the idea that he is and should be the centre of your universe. You don’t do things which he doesn’t like. With many many women, it’s a case of fear. Not only of physical or verbal violence . Even of just causing displeasure and sulks. You don’t want unpleasantness in the home.
He is used to you cajoling him ou tof his sulks. After all, whom else does he have? Himself. He doesn't know who he is while you are around.
Now, its getting tiring. But you’ve set that pattern and neither he nor you canbreak it.
By giving in so often, you've given him the power over you. You have created the person that he has become and now you want out?
At least of the subtle power he as over you to cut your calls when he comes in; of hiding relationships even tho innocent from him, of not being yourself completely when he is around.
Anna Quindlen in Rise and Shine: It’s the biggest arrangement of all. You make me look smart and I make you look kind. You make me look rich and I make you look generous. You make me look interesting and I make you look credible.
Its not about whether people like each other or love each other or have sex with each other or want to be with each other. It is a deal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)