" To yield to seeming is man's essential cowardice, to resist it is his essential courage. ..one must at times pay dearly for life lived from the being, but it is never too dear." said Buber.
This does sound a bit obscure. But it means we need not dissemble.
Within our families, we dont have to be polite, we dont have to say stuff that we know will please and which sometimes we only half mean; we can be ourselves.
We can be sad or angry or bitter or loud or throw things. We can live from the core of ourselves. If we are very lucky we can be this way with an unlucky friend or two.
And maybe that is why family trips become rather disastrous sometimes. :-)
My cousin is going around the state with a friend and two relatives for a week visiting people.. And they are enjoying it.
The same thing done within the close family could be shattering.Because we forget to be polite, to seem a different person and act our nasty selves.
And the cheery thing is reading Bill Bryson on the subject as he describes long drawn, not-really-enjoyed holiday trips with his family in the car in Mid america.
" one must at times pay dearly for life lived from the being, but it is never too dear".