Yesterday, when a doctor I met casually in a nursing home heard me through the usual rigmarole of how I was going to come home one day soon to invite him and said casually ‘no formalities, just hand it over”, I could have hugged him. I did. Hand the card over.
Im beginning to realize (a little late) that the wedding invite is the most crucial part of the wedding, next to the food, maybe.
Its not the card – which no one really cares about except oneself in the light of the many hours put in, designing it .One in a 1000 people will tell you it looks good.
It’s the way you invite people that matters. And the biggest mistake is to take people close to you for granted. Of course Im so so guilty of this and that’s why I am impelled to write this to help other less prepared mortals in what lies ahead.
I used to think, rather mistakenly, that the connection with people is already there so you send across a card and they come or don’t come depending on how strong your bond is and the convenience of travel. But that is not how it works. What matters is how you relate to them right now when you present the card.
Top of the list is actually turning up in person with the card at their home, not office. Then everyone feels good about themselves and you and feels obliged to come. On this occasion, you have to mention all dates and times and functions and feasts, cutting across stories of their children and activities.
A new addition to be mentioned is accommodation. Traditionally people just landed up in the wedding house and made themselves comfortable in whatever way they could. Now rooms and hotels have to be mentioned and booked and since many people only make up their minds at the last minute to come; it becomes a little tough because Indian style, everyone expects to be feted anyway for having traveled this long way
If you live far away and can use that as an excuse, then you can send the cards by post. And follow it up with a phone call. Right now, I am the black sheep of the family for having broken ground by inviting people by this method. But I’m sure, people in the family hosting the next weddings are going to be glad.
It’s gladdening when someone says, do send me an invite I’d so like to be there.
But when people say, send one to my brother in law, father in law, sister or other people who are important to them but you’ve barely met ,because that person would love the attention, then it feels a little crazy. In some cases, people come along to enjoy the place or as an interesting experience.
Be sure that young married couples and even little twirps living away in college are invited separately. This can lead to much friction, I assure you.
Next is email to all those who live overseas. It is hard to write an email inviting people insincerely to a wedding you are sure they are not going to attend. Some may be cousins you hear from once in 5 years. Yet you do.
When one of them calls and says, ‘thank you for thinking of me’; then it really is worth it. Because each invite does carry a piece of you. Each person is on one of your lists and you do make an effort to discover addresses and phone numbers, email ids. If some one gives you a feedback, it does feel good.
Im as guilty as anyone else of ignoring the majority of wedding invitations. But now I do realize, somewhere someone is thinking of me/us and it is good to respond in whatever way I can.
In an ideal world, you wouldn’t hand out invites at all. Those who feel connected will turn up. But till then invitations reign supreme. And you ‘d better make them sound sincere.
Friday, January 21, 2011
It's been a While
Its' been a while since I posted here but now it seems time to take up this blog again. So many issues seem to need my insightful slants. Or I just need to let off steam and thoughts into the world. So, this is my place once again.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Making Lemonade!
Schools were closed for 10 days during the rains and after. The kids naturally, had a blast! cycling ...,
Cricket...
The stands....
and a form of country sledding with home made 'vandi's or sleds.These are made with three sticks, a few ball bearings , string and enthusiasm. They come apart after a couple of rides, but the kids fix it and trudge up the hill again for that wonderful, bone shaking ride downwards till they land up laughing, breathless thrown up on a grass bank and the contraption under them comes loose again.
the engineers
Cricket...
The stands....
and a form of country sledding with home made 'vandi's or sleds.These are made with three sticks, a few ball bearings , string and enthusiasm. They come apart after a couple of rides, but the kids fix it and trudge up the hill again for that wonderful, bone shaking ride downwards till they land up laughing, breathless thrown up on a grass bank and the contraption under them comes loose again.
the engineers
Weekend Hideout in Ooty
Here are a couple of reasons why you should think twice before you buy that little weekend bungalow in Ooty, especially from developers.
These buildings sunk a few feet below road level.And are hanging on
These buildings sunk a few feet below road level.And are hanging on
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Difficulty of Doing Good
A record breaking amount of rain in the Nilgiris.
Reports of people being buried under landfalls and houses that crumbled under the onslaught of continuous rain and wind and mud that came suddenly sliding down trickled in by word of mouth because power lines lay broken as trees crashed everywhere blocking off road access for many hours. We didn’t have access to radio and were spared the sights on TV news channels for a few days.
But even looking around the school in our area where as many as 200 people were housed in 3 rooms tugged at the heart.
I thought since it was on my doorstep I should go see what was happening. Harassed officials were slowly getting a semblance of order. Food was donated by several charitable organizations and delivered by the hoteliers associations. A couple of plastic tanks supplied water. A medical team came everyday to attend to any signs of spreading disease
.
Everyday was spent waiting for the minister to come and solve their problems. After three days, his PA turned up and gave them Rs.2000 each. Later a blanket was supplied.
Of course, it all became a matter of survival of the fittest. It is really tough in this kind of situation to impose any kind of discipline. Sifting the genuinely-in-distress from the hangers on who were there to see if they could get any freebies is a sensitive issue. In that short space of time, officials can hardly visit the affected areas and identify the people who have lost the most. They rely on the area ‘s leaders who are not too reliable. Given the politics of the situation, I think the government did a great job with immediate relief.
(pic courtesy: The Hindu)
Still people had many wants and demands. A few friends and I collected some used clothes and took them there in a hurry. But the officer in charge was loath to distribute them. Every time some kind of relief appeared, numbers seem to double magically. And fights escalated. He didn’t want any more trouble than he could help.
Now the school has been emptied. Some people have gone back home and hopefully to their jobs. The truly displaced and the jobless are housed in another location. They wait in hope for more hands and relief measures to help them.
We have become a nation where we wait for someone to help us out. But can we truly blame people who are so poverty stricken that they have to grab all they can?
Reports of people being buried under landfalls and houses that crumbled under the onslaught of continuous rain and wind and mud that came suddenly sliding down trickled in by word of mouth because power lines lay broken as trees crashed everywhere blocking off road access for many hours. We didn’t have access to radio and were spared the sights on TV news channels for a few days.
But even looking around the school in our area where as many as 200 people were housed in 3 rooms tugged at the heart.
I thought since it was on my doorstep I should go see what was happening. Harassed officials were slowly getting a semblance of order. Food was donated by several charitable organizations and delivered by the hoteliers associations. A couple of plastic tanks supplied water. A medical team came everyday to attend to any signs of spreading disease
.
Everyday was spent waiting for the minister to come and solve their problems. After three days, his PA turned up and gave them Rs.2000 each. Later a blanket was supplied.
Of course, it all became a matter of survival of the fittest. It is really tough in this kind of situation to impose any kind of discipline. Sifting the genuinely-in-distress from the hangers on who were there to see if they could get any freebies is a sensitive issue. In that short space of time, officials can hardly visit the affected areas and identify the people who have lost the most. They rely on the area ‘s leaders who are not too reliable. Given the politics of the situation, I think the government did a great job with immediate relief.
(pic courtesy: The Hindu)
Still people had many wants and demands. A few friends and I collected some used clothes and took them there in a hurry. But the officer in charge was loath to distribute them. Every time some kind of relief appeared, numbers seem to double magically. And fights escalated. He didn’t want any more trouble than he could help.
Now the school has been emptied. Some people have gone back home and hopefully to their jobs. The truly displaced and the jobless are housed in another location. They wait in hope for more hands and relief measures to help them.
We have become a nation where we wait for someone to help us out. But can we truly blame people who are so poverty stricken that they have to grab all they can?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Zapping the Gap
Once you stop writing; it’s difficult to start writing again. You wonder why you should.
But maybe it’s a habit that doesn’t let go off you so easily.
So here I am again.
Woken up by the torrential rain and wind that hit us in the Nilgiris, so hard. Leaving so much devastation. I took my camera to take some pictures but somehow it didn’t work. Probably it meant that we shouldn’t be getting voyeuristic pleasure out of other people’s distress.
But people were anxious to show how much they’d suffered. .Cracks in the walls, roofs, broken walls, damaged floors, mud hanging over on the pitch of the roof,.
Hoping that we’d help in some way .The pathos of a new house for a new young couple with just a window frame left standing over the rubble; the roof blown away.
After a while, you are not absorbing anymore of the sad scenes because life is going on around you .
Five small kids sitting around a carom board in the watery sunshine on a ledge above a road half covered with mud and stones.
That picture stayed with me and helped obliterate the others a bit.
But maybe it’s a habit that doesn’t let go off you so easily.
So here I am again.
Woken up by the torrential rain and wind that hit us in the Nilgiris, so hard. Leaving so much devastation. I took my camera to take some pictures but somehow it didn’t work. Probably it meant that we shouldn’t be getting voyeuristic pleasure out of other people’s distress.
But people were anxious to show how much they’d suffered. .Cracks in the walls, roofs, broken walls, damaged floors, mud hanging over on the pitch of the roof,.
Hoping that we’d help in some way .The pathos of a new house for a new young couple with just a window frame left standing over the rubble; the roof blown away.
After a while, you are not absorbing anymore of the sad scenes because life is going on around you .
Five small kids sitting around a carom board in the watery sunshine on a ledge above a road half covered with mud and stones.
That picture stayed with me and helped obliterate the others a bit.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Lessons From Living - People Savvy
Getting along with the people we share this planet with
Be nice – Ravi (45)
Treat others the way you want others to treat you –PC (55)
A simple smile works wonders though its your enemy.
Accept the people the way they are and not for the way you want them to be.
You are never right always to comment and judge other people _ Haru (20)
Love your enemies – Janet, (49)
Don’t open your mouth in the wrong place. Someimes, its better not to show you know something even when you do –Girija (35)
One thing I learnt however is to keep my mouth firmly shut when others are voicing their opinions about things and people close to them. You are damned if you agree and damned if you don't !!!! Raji Muthukrishnan (62)
To keep smiling always. To take things light. And to shut my big mouth though I feel am right. Gitanjali (25 and newly married)
I leant not to cheat anybody – not to believe anybody – enjoy a little without crossing any limits- believe in gods, -there is nothing in the world without them- whatever you do- keep in your mind that everybody are watching- us.
Forget the past try to be the best in the present –
Take life as your challenge –and reach your destiny – Girija
'no matter what its the skill or knowledge one has speaks' –Rajesh ramanujam (35)
Listen to your elders – swarna (32)
When in one trouble one approaches the person with willingness and the ability to solve your problems –
I realize that when people come to you in trouble, all they want most of the time is a listening ear.
BJ Krishnan (63)
The one lesson that I have learned and have realized is that balance is the essence of life. Too much of anything, including good things like being too nice is harmful :).
Oswin Samuel (25)
Real everyday stuff that works –
Getting up earlier than your family so you have time for yourself is a great start
-kallu
An early morning walk in fresh air even if its only 5 min to get the milk is a great start to the day -kapu
When you are really desperate; turn to your family even its only to fill up lifebuoy questionnaires -sind
No matter how bad the situation, Happiness is just a bar of chocolate away –Dachu (25)
80% of the work is done by 20% of members in a team- sindhu (22)
Be nice – Ravi (45)
Treat others the way you want others to treat you –PC (55)
A simple smile works wonders though its your enemy.
Accept the people the way they are and not for the way you want them to be.
You are never right always to comment and judge other people _ Haru (20)
Love your enemies – Janet, (49)
Don’t open your mouth in the wrong place. Someimes, its better not to show you know something even when you do –Girija (35)
One thing I learnt however is to keep my mouth firmly shut when others are voicing their opinions about things and people close to them. You are damned if you agree and damned if you don't !!!! Raji Muthukrishnan (62)
To keep smiling always. To take things light. And to shut my big mouth though I feel am right. Gitanjali (25 and newly married)
I leant not to cheat anybody – not to believe anybody – enjoy a little without crossing any limits- believe in gods, -there is nothing in the world without them- whatever you do- keep in your mind that everybody are watching- us.
Forget the past try to be the best in the present –
Take life as your challenge –and reach your destiny – Girija
'no matter what its the skill or knowledge one has speaks' –Rajesh ramanujam (35)
Listen to your elders – swarna (32)
When in one trouble one approaches the person with willingness and the ability to solve your problems –
I realize that when people come to you in trouble, all they want most of the time is a listening ear.
BJ Krishnan (63)
The one lesson that I have learned and have realized is that balance is the essence of life. Too much of anything, including good things like being too nice is harmful :).
Oswin Samuel (25)
Real everyday stuff that works –
Getting up earlier than your family so you have time for yourself is a great start
-kallu
An early morning walk in fresh air even if its only 5 min to get the milk is a great start to the day -kapu
When you are really desperate; turn to your family even its only to fill up lifebuoy questionnaires -sind
No matter how bad the situation, Happiness is just a bar of chocolate away –Dachu (25)
80% of the work is done by 20% of members in a team- sindhu (22)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Lessons From Living -III
Qualities that help along the way!
To achieve our greatest part of endurance is "COURAGE" –Aristotle –contributed by Kumari (44)
Patience-Ramkumar(30)
Gain or learn by experience –Goutham
It is always better to make life simple and uncomplicated as possible. –Anita N(40)
Attitude and individuality matters a lot. - Haru
Money is the deciding factor. Better to realize it late than never –Anandhi (45)
Lost opportunities in money making deals are my only regrets – so don’t be afraid to take risks – Ramesh (45)
Must say that the best thing I have learnt would be that I am going to lose as much as I can win, so I take both as well - however, I hate not having competed - so, try and compete - win or lose is not that big a deal ! – vijaykanth (53)
Get to the bottom of the problem" - be it professional, personal, national... - mahendran (49)
Expectations hurts. (ouch! That hurts)
Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one – Newton (49)
Work hard..no substitute for hard work ..Sheela (45)
The big results can be achieved by altering the small things – Babu (29)
To accept changes and to be a lot more humane –Geetha (45)
To achieve our greatest part of endurance is "COURAGE" –Aristotle –contributed by Kumari (44)
Patience-Ramkumar(30)
Gain or learn by experience –Goutham
It is always better to make life simple and uncomplicated as possible. –Anita N(40)
Attitude and individuality matters a lot. - Haru
Money is the deciding factor. Better to realize it late than never –Anandhi (45)
Lost opportunities in money making deals are my only regrets – so don’t be afraid to take risks – Ramesh (45)
Must say that the best thing I have learnt would be that I am going to lose as much as I can win, so I take both as well - however, I hate not having competed - so, try and compete - win or lose is not that big a deal ! – vijaykanth (53)
Get to the bottom of the problem" - be it professional, personal, national... - mahendran (49)
Expectations hurts. (ouch! That hurts)
Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one – Newton (49)
Work hard..no substitute for hard work ..Sheela (45)
The big results can be achieved by altering the small things – Babu (29)
To accept changes and to be a lot more humane –Geetha (45)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Lessons from Living!! -II
Happy people about happiness! – The (B)Right Attitude
`Always look on the bright side of life ... Babu (age 50)
Anything may happen anytime.. people will change … so enjoy life.. dont take things seriously why kavalai??? – Sajit (age 15)
Happiness lies in what you have got. And not in what you feel have lost. –Kalai (50)
Be happy with what you have while striving for better things-Kapu (43)
That every day is better than the rest – Banu (49)
Do what you deem right within the bounds of reason – Jyothi (25)
live life to the fullest and for the moment only. –Sastha Prakash (30)
Highly philosophical
In life nothing is permanent. so making far fetched plans ahead can be redundant sometimes. Life itself is only a phase that we pass through so as long as we at are it, I believe we live righteously.
In short love and be loved. Goutham (48)
We always searching for something in our life which exists and not exists but need to have space for everyone and everything in our life.- damu (35)
`Always look on the bright side of life ... Babu (age 50)
Anything may happen anytime.. people will change … so enjoy life.. dont take things seriously why kavalai??? – Sajit (age 15)
Happiness lies in what you have got. And not in what you feel have lost. –Kalai (50)
Be happy with what you have while striving for better things-Kapu (43)
That every day is better than the rest – Banu (49)
Do what you deem right within the bounds of reason – Jyothi (25)
live life to the fullest and for the moment only. –Sastha Prakash (30)
Highly philosophical
In life nothing is permanent. so making far fetched plans ahead can be redundant sometimes. Life itself is only a phase that we pass through so as long as we at are it, I believe we live righteously.
In short love and be loved. Goutham (48)
We always searching for something in our life which exists and not exists but need to have space for everyone and everything in our life.- damu (35)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Mystery story Writers
One of the things that add such a huge Zing to my Life I've discovered is a Well- Written-Mystery-Story I go about with such a glow the whole day, its worth it to read lots of these:-)
A recent addition to my list of Favorite Authors is :
Josephine Tey- Elegant Prose - I can't reveal any more mysteries.
Other favorites :
PD James -
Sue Grafton - the A is for ... - lady With a zingy, irascible detective Kinsey Malhone
Mary Higgins Clark - though Ive mostly given up on her.. too horrifying
Ruth Rendell - Macabre but a scholar
Ngaaio Marsh - I've read only one but it was great
Mary Stewart - Unbeatable for mystery undertinged just slightly with romance
Agatha Christie- where one begins
Male writers:
Dick Francis - a very intelligent mind
Lawrence Sanders - though his Commandment books are good, his madly gay detective Mcnally really holds
Raymond Chandler - Style
Giovanni Guareschi's Don Camillo - tho this isnt detective fiction actually
A recent addition to my list of Favorite Authors is :
Josephine Tey- Elegant Prose - I can't reveal any more mysteries.
Other favorites :
PD James -
Sue Grafton - the A is for ... - lady With a zingy, irascible detective Kinsey Malhone
Mary Higgins Clark - though Ive mostly given up on her.. too horrifying
Ruth Rendell - Macabre but a scholar
Ngaaio Marsh - I've read only one but it was great
Mary Stewart - Unbeatable for mystery undertinged just slightly with romance
Agatha Christie- where one begins
Male writers:
Dick Francis - a very intelligent mind
Lawrence Sanders - though his Commandment books are good, his madly gay detective Mcnally really holds
Raymond Chandler - Style
Giovanni Guareschi's Don Camillo - tho this isnt detective fiction actually
Lessons and Thoughts
One of the lessons I learnt over the past few weeks is:
If you want to write about a movie you've just watched or about a book you are reading; you should do it NOW.
Otherwise, the urge to inflict all those shades of thoughts and reactions on the world passes. Later all those shades are muddied and you may still write it all out anyway creating something which is not quite fresh and true.
So here goes in random order, impressions of weeks past that have lingered, as short as I can make it.
Two movies remain in my head and remind me that there is a story in each one of us. People who live ordinary lives, in poverty and want yet each find something - a dream - to cling to that lifts their lives out of the misery of want and makes their lives rich. Mari in Poo and Vedachalam in Kanjeevaram.
Poo is about Mari; the girl with the heart of a flower. She is consumed with love for her cousin brother but is too shy to express it. The blossoming of a young girl as she tries to express her love in different ways ; her tribulations which are told in a gentle humorous way. Her gentle heart which can never bear to see him hurt.
Poo is about Mari and actor Parvathy justly deserves all the awards she has been accumulating with her sensitive face.
The sepia tones Of Kanjeevarm linger long after. It’s a movie of superlative visuals with great attention to detail paid to the sets depicting a style of life of 60 years ago. The sharp beauty of Shreya Reddy stands out as well as the vigor of Prakash Raj in every scene.
What keeps this poor weaver, Vedachalam going is his commitment to weave a saree for his daughter's‘wedding from silk - a Kanjeevaram which he can never afford in his lifetime and how he finds the means to this end. His broader visions – the rights of his community of weavers to better pay and conditions makes him a man of stature and how his ideals grow and bend are party of the story.
His sensitivity – when he sees his daughter crying; he doesn’t look at her directly or take her in his arms. But in the Indian way, stands apart and tries to address her problem. It seems more authentic than the father in Abiyum Naanum. Or is this a generation apart?
If you want to write about a movie you've just watched or about a book you are reading; you should do it NOW.
Otherwise, the urge to inflict all those shades of thoughts and reactions on the world passes. Later all those shades are muddied and you may still write it all out anyway creating something which is not quite fresh and true.
So here goes in random order, impressions of weeks past that have lingered, as short as I can make it.
Two movies remain in my head and remind me that there is a story in each one of us. People who live ordinary lives, in poverty and want yet each find something - a dream - to cling to that lifts their lives out of the misery of want and makes their lives rich. Mari in Poo and Vedachalam in Kanjeevaram.
Poo is about Mari; the girl with the heart of a flower. She is consumed with love for her cousin brother but is too shy to express it. The blossoming of a young girl as she tries to express her love in different ways ; her tribulations which are told in a gentle humorous way. Her gentle heart which can never bear to see him hurt.
Poo is about Mari and actor Parvathy justly deserves all the awards she has been accumulating with her sensitive face.
The sepia tones Of Kanjeevarm linger long after. It’s a movie of superlative visuals with great attention to detail paid to the sets depicting a style of life of 60 years ago. The sharp beauty of Shreya Reddy stands out as well as the vigor of Prakash Raj in every scene.
What keeps this poor weaver, Vedachalam going is his commitment to weave a saree for his daughter's‘wedding from silk - a Kanjeevaram which he can never afford in his lifetime and how he finds the means to this end. His broader visions – the rights of his community of weavers to better pay and conditions makes him a man of stature and how his ideals grow and bend are party of the story.
His sensitivity – when he sees his daughter crying; he doesn’t look at her directly or take her in his arms. But in the Indian way, stands apart and tries to address her problem. It seems more authentic than the father in Abiyum Naanum. Or is this a generation apart?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Lessons from Living -I
This morning I realized two lessons about life:
1) I have done a lot of living and and now its time to listen to my body and take more care - recovery is much slower
2) I may be bursting with plans for the day but I can put them aside and do other things which are as gladdening - I just have to spend a little time and thought
Both are interconnected of course. Yesterday, I had done more cooking than usual because my brother in law turned up; started a new painting on one bit of wall and made some changes in the garden which involved shifting some pots.
I went to bed with the happiness that I would be doing all this and more today- the monthly shopping; some more sorting out of books and so on.
But this morning I found I could hardly use one arm and leg. Obviously, I had been doing things I shouldn't yday. And now I can't be doing things I should. So take-it-easy day .
unfinished business that can wait
Im adding a pic to give the idea of unfinished work that hangs over our heads when we can't do it but we can happily gloss over when we can do it.
As I was making idlies with the left hand - its really very clumsy; one should use it more often- I was thinking of the lesson its teaching me . And suddenly the idea came to me that I should ask other people too what lessons they've learnt.
so I started sending out sms' and got some replies which cheered me up immensely.
In the process the idlies got a bit overcooked but never mind.
The replies in the next post... But please whoever is reading this send in yours too.
1) I have done a lot of living and and now its time to listen to my body and take more care - recovery is much slower
2) I may be bursting with plans for the day but I can put them aside and do other things which are as gladdening - I just have to spend a little time and thought
Both are interconnected of course. Yesterday, I had done more cooking than usual because my brother in law turned up; started a new painting on one bit of wall and made some changes in the garden which involved shifting some pots.
I went to bed with the happiness that I would be doing all this and more today- the monthly shopping; some more sorting out of books and so on.
But this morning I found I could hardly use one arm and leg. Obviously, I had been doing things I shouldn't yday. And now I can't be doing things I should. So take-it-easy day .
unfinished business that can wait
Im adding a pic to give the idea of unfinished work that hangs over our heads when we can't do it but we can happily gloss over when we can do it.
As I was making idlies with the left hand - its really very clumsy; one should use it more often- I was thinking of the lesson its teaching me . And suddenly the idea came to me that I should ask other people too what lessons they've learnt.
so I started sending out sms' and got some replies which cheered me up immensely.
In the process the idlies got a bit overcooked but never mind.
The replies in the next post... But please whoever is reading this send in yours too.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
They are here - Rain and Wind Gods
It's that time of the year.When we can never stop talking about the weather. Even though it is our favorite topic of discussion during most times; now it occupies a special place of importance.
I think its mostly due to the shock of the monsoon sweeping in after the glorious days of summer. We can't get quite used to being shoved off so abruptly from the top slot on the list of Places-to-Bask-in-During-this-Hot-Summer. And our smugness over living in beautiful Ooty gives place to 'Is this the right place to live in after all? - God, show us a little mercy. And throw some sunshine in. While you are at it, cut that wind a little.'
Just when we'd finally gathered the courage to discard our sweaters - only in April do Ootyites get that much courage - we are back to being bundled in two or three layers and socks. And battling gamely with damp shoes,umbrellas and drips down the neck while we make shopping trips to the market as short as possible.
view from my window
One way to battle the cold is to bring the flowers in.. they are all drooping anyway. These are my home grown gladioli... easiest to grow and most glamorous.
Bright spots in a cold world.
I think its mostly due to the shock of the monsoon sweeping in after the glorious days of summer. We can't get quite used to being shoved off so abruptly from the top slot on the list of Places-to-Bask-in-During-this-Hot-Summer. And our smugness over living in beautiful Ooty gives place to 'Is this the right place to live in after all? - God, show us a little mercy. And throw some sunshine in. While you are at it, cut that wind a little.'
Just when we'd finally gathered the courage to discard our sweaters - only in April do Ootyites get that much courage - we are back to being bundled in two or three layers and socks. And battling gamely with damp shoes,umbrellas and drips down the neck while we make shopping trips to the market as short as possible.
view from my window
One way to battle the cold is to bring the flowers in.. they are all drooping anyway. These are my home grown gladioli... easiest to grow and most glamorous.
Bright spots in a cold world.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
In One Place
The morning has been almost perfect. Unhurried. Rising after the sun has come up; without an alarm, no guilt. Coffee over the newspaper. A few comments. Getting lunch ready. Some stretches. There are no phone calls ; well only one . And the doorbell rings only once. But the morning remains unshattered by harsh words- thoughts, demands. Bright, unfolding into promise,rich with life. Breakfast and he’s gone. I eat my oats , slowly with Binnie Kirshenbaum. I feel a slow pleasure come over me. A writer I know I’m are going to like. She brings calm and a slow unhurriedness and a liking for life that is contagious.
Pasanga
An unassuming film with actors who seem perfectly natural; a story that is not going anywhere. Its more than a slice of life with a philosophy behind that does reach one. There is a cuteness about it; a film about kids can hardly do without. But this one doesn't jar. The love interest too is refreshing. Little unexpected turns maintain interest.
People have said that it lags a bit; but for each person its a different stage.
But, everyone says - lovely film. And so do I. I don't want to give the story away but do watch it.
People have said that it lags a bit; but for each person its a different stage.
But, everyone says - lovely film. And so do I. I don't want to give the story away but do watch it.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Oldies but Goldies
The Vintage Car Rally marks the end of the 'Season' at Ooty. We do have a month long program of events which include a Boat Regatta, Dance and Music, Photographic Shows and other events which are never well publicized; which means besides the organizers and participants, very few people attend any of these programs.
The popular events are the Flower Show, the Dog Shows and the Races. These are held during the weekends when the locals don't go out if they can help it because traffic and crowds become so horrendous.
But the Car Rally was something I had to go to, because my friend Geetha was exhibiting her Morris 8 of 1947. She'd spent the last few months getting it painted and polished and reupholstered. Geeth said there was not one bit of rust on the 60 year old car.
I know the great amount of effort she puts into sourcing original parts. And she was rewarded this year with a prize for Best-Original Car.
Grand old ladies get a day out!
This year included an exhibition of old scooters and bikes too.
The car fanatic is a special breed. And these hobbyists certainly find a reason for living. For them , this was a great day displaying their beauties and hob nobbling with people who prize their cars above money.
The popular events are the Flower Show, the Dog Shows and the Races. These are held during the weekends when the locals don't go out if they can help it because traffic and crowds become so horrendous.
But the Car Rally was something I had to go to, because my friend Geetha was exhibiting her Morris 8 of 1947. She'd spent the last few months getting it painted and polished and reupholstered. Geeth said there was not one bit of rust on the 60 year old car.
I know the great amount of effort she puts into sourcing original parts. And she was rewarded this year with a prize for Best-Original Car.
Grand old ladies get a day out!This year included an exhibition of old scooters and bikes too.
The car fanatic is a special breed. And these hobbyists certainly find a reason for living. For them , this was a great day displaying their beauties and hob nobbling with people who prize their cars above money.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Way Down Upon the Backwaters
Last weekend was our short getaway-from-Ooty trip to Aleppey, sailing down the backwaters. Initially, meant to be for four of us, in the Velcro-effect in our family, numbers grew and grew till we were 12 and we had to hire another boat.
After the efforts of organizing the trip and coordinating everyone's schedules and travelling the 300 km from Coimbatore to Allepey besides babysitting 8mth old to 80 year old father, it was bliss to get on the boat and just be.
Im just putting in pics in the hope they say it all.
My niece Gigi with her son . Rebel-teen nephew Sajit, happy to be away from parents. And EAT all day!
Sindhu and my niece, Haru. Happy to be away from college.
Junior nephew Sanjay - his parents were the trial- constantly calling to find out how he was. Blisffuly, signals became very weak.
More people on the other boat. Cousins displaying unseemly 'Titanic' spirits; to the horror of their kids.
The very comfortable deck.
Meals are provided. You don't have a choice of menus. You don't have 'something to see'. Just drift down and sleep and eat. Heavenly holiday.
After the efforts of organizing the trip and coordinating everyone's schedules and travelling the 300 km from Coimbatore to Allepey besides babysitting 8mth old to 80 year old father, it was bliss to get on the boat and just be.
Im just putting in pics in the hope they say it all.
My niece Gigi with her son . Rebel-teen nephew Sajit, happy to be away from parents. And EAT all day!
Sindhu and my niece, Haru. Happy to be away from college.
Junior nephew Sanjay - his parents were the trial- constantly calling to find out how he was. Blisffuly, signals became very weak.
More people on the other boat. Cousins displaying unseemly 'Titanic' spirits; to the horror of their kids.
The very comfortable deck.
Meals are provided. You don't have a choice of menus. You don't have 'something to see'. Just drift down and sleep and eat. Heavenly holiday.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Narayana Gurukulam
Many many years ago, when Darshini had just started school while Sindhu went to nursery ,we were living in a little flat of 4 rooms totaling 400 sq ft. on Upper Bazaar Street, right in the centre of Ooty town. One day we had two visitors. They had been given our address by my sister Karthy who was working in Trivandrum. One was her house owner and the other, his friend. They’d come to look around Ooty. Their easy assumption that they would be staying with us, took my breath away and with it my words and the objections that rose in my mind.
Two memories have stayed with me.
I had a collection of 20-30 pots on the tiny balcony of which I was rather proud. My idea of gardening then was to buy pots from the market, fill them with mud from the side of the road, get some small cuttings from friends ; plonk the pots on the balcony and water them assiduously. There was green enough for me to think it was all working well. Till this gentleman from green Kerala pronounced ‘not one healthy plant among them’. Since my plants are still not winning prizes, I can’t say I really learnt a big lesson from this..
The other was that the visitors wanted to go to the Narayana Gurukulam. I had never heard of the place in the Ooty chukker of Boat-house-garden-Doddabetta. Well, being enterprising people they found their way there without any assistance from me. I was intrigued that people from so far away knew something about Ooty that I hadn’t heard of.
But, it was a couple of years later that I got to visit the Narayana Gurukulam after I acquired a Keralite friend. Narayana Guru was a saint, sage, social reformer who did much to transform the caste ridden society of Kerala. He established several temples and educational institutions. His disciple, Natarja Guru established the Narayana Gurukulam at Ooty. His successor, Guru Nitya Chaitanya Yeti stayed here for long periods. People talk of him as larger than life and a man of great intelligence and zest for life. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity to interact with him.
The Gurukulam is a place which seems to have bridged the gap between the spiritual and practical, with an air of peace and acceptance. Small buildings are scattered over the campus; there is a beautiful shrine to the gurus filled with light and silence; a Zen maze where one walks to find solutions to problems (you walk through the maze all the while focusing on your problem and you should come out with the answer or the beginnings of one in your mind), the house where Guru Chaitanya Yeti used to live, a hall for programs and housing for the monks and guests.
After a long gap, last week I was at the Gurukulam for its annual function to celebrate the birthday of Narayana Guru . Prayers and talks are followed by ‘annadhanam’ and then a program of dance and music. This time, a friend of ours was the speaker. Mr. B.J.Krishnan, a lawyer and keen advocate for the environment and conservation spoke on his pet subjects. It was a bright sunny day and the function, held among the trees and graceful buildings, was so peaceful. The audience listened in absolute silence to the speakers.
Lunch followed – served on long benches set out under the trees. Without the usual hustle and pushing; it was so good. People had to wait for empty plates – each one had to wash his own – and there was no sign of anxiety or hurry.
In a flight of fancy, I wished that Sindhu’s wedding could be conducted in similar style, without excessive formalities or tension and people relaxing and enjoying just being there.
Two memories have stayed with me.
I had a collection of 20-30 pots on the tiny balcony of which I was rather proud. My idea of gardening then was to buy pots from the market, fill them with mud from the side of the road, get some small cuttings from friends ; plonk the pots on the balcony and water them assiduously. There was green enough for me to think it was all working well. Till this gentleman from green Kerala pronounced ‘not one healthy plant among them’. Since my plants are still not winning prizes, I can’t say I really learnt a big lesson from this..
The other was that the visitors wanted to go to the Narayana Gurukulam. I had never heard of the place in the Ooty chukker of Boat-house-garden-Doddabetta. Well, being enterprising people they found their way there without any assistance from me. I was intrigued that people from so far away knew something about Ooty that I hadn’t heard of.
But, it was a couple of years later that I got to visit the Narayana Gurukulam after I acquired a Keralite friend. Narayana Guru was a saint, sage, social reformer who did much to transform the caste ridden society of Kerala. He established several temples and educational institutions. His disciple, Natarja Guru established the Narayana Gurukulam at Ooty. His successor, Guru Nitya Chaitanya Yeti stayed here for long periods. People talk of him as larger than life and a man of great intelligence and zest for life. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity to interact with him.
The Gurukulam is a place which seems to have bridged the gap between the spiritual and practical, with an air of peace and acceptance. Small buildings are scattered over the campus; there is a beautiful shrine to the gurus filled with light and silence; a Zen maze where one walks to find solutions to problems (you walk through the maze all the while focusing on your problem and you should come out with the answer or the beginnings of one in your mind), the house where Guru Chaitanya Yeti used to live, a hall for programs and housing for the monks and guests.
After a long gap, last week I was at the Gurukulam for its annual function to celebrate the birthday of Narayana Guru . Prayers and talks are followed by ‘annadhanam’ and then a program of dance and music. This time, a friend of ours was the speaker. Mr. B.J.Krishnan, a lawyer and keen advocate for the environment and conservation spoke on his pet subjects. It was a bright sunny day and the function, held among the trees and graceful buildings, was so peaceful. The audience listened in absolute silence to the speakers.
Lunch followed – served on long benches set out under the trees. Without the usual hustle and pushing; it was so good. People had to wait for empty plates – each one had to wash his own – and there was no sign of anxiety or hurry.
In a flight of fancy, I wished that Sindhu’s wedding could be conducted in similar style, without excessive formalities or tension and people relaxing and enjoying just being there.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Option E: None of the Above
The Indian voter has an option to say ’I don’t wish to vote for any of these candidates’.
If you are dissatisfied with the candidates on offer in your constituency and think they don’t deserve your vote; then by provision 49- O, you can go to the polling booth, confirm your identity, get your finger marked and tell the electoral officer that you don’t wish to vote.
Recently, a campaign has spread awareness of this rule through mail and SMS and pamphlets. See this link to know more about the campaign in North India.
To strengthen the case for voting 49-O, the mails say that if the number of '49-O' votes polled are more than those of the winning candidate, then the poll will be cancelled and re-polling done. Furthermore, the contestants will be banned from the re-polling for their life times.
Unfortunately, this is not true. 49-O is merely a rule for negative or neutral voting.The exact Rule can be found here.
When I first heard about 49-O, I thought what a waste of public money! to hold a re-election. We might as well make the best choice of whatever ( or whoever) is available to us.
But, last night when I went through the list of candidates for our constituency, I was stumped to come up with the right or best candidate. Of the candidates from the three major parties, one is corrupt, one is terribly terribly corrupt and the third has 3 criminal cases pending against him. None of them are from our district. The remaining dozen people are absolutely unknown. What chances do they have on a national footing?
So I thought I would use the 49- O option. Not an easy decision to make or execute. First, I queued up in a booth with early birds all going off to work. Then they couldn’t match my voter ID. I was sent off to the party people to find my number. This took 45 minutes and I was escorted back to a different booth by our ex-Councillor who was happy to use this opportunity to spew abuses on the ruling party/govt. for the poor organization of voter lists.
After all the trouble he took, I was a little loath to turn in a null vote. But I did say “ I want to use the 49- O" loudly enough to create a furor. At first no one understood my request, then the chief officer made me sign in a book and wrote ‘Refused to vote’ which has made me rather sad.
If you are dissatisfied with the candidates on offer in your constituency and think they don’t deserve your vote; then by provision 49- O, you can go to the polling booth, confirm your identity, get your finger marked and tell the electoral officer that you don’t wish to vote.
Recently, a campaign has spread awareness of this rule through mail and SMS and pamphlets. See this link to know more about the campaign in North India.
To strengthen the case for voting 49-O, the mails say that if the number of '49-O' votes polled are more than those of the winning candidate, then the poll will be cancelled and re-polling done. Furthermore, the contestants will be banned from the re-polling for their life times.
Unfortunately, this is not true. 49-O is merely a rule for negative or neutral voting.The exact Rule can be found here.
When I first heard about 49-O, I thought what a waste of public money! to hold a re-election. We might as well make the best choice of whatever ( or whoever) is available to us.
But, last night when I went through the list of candidates for our constituency, I was stumped to come up with the right or best candidate. Of the candidates from the three major parties, one is corrupt, one is terribly terribly corrupt and the third has 3 criminal cases pending against him. None of them are from our district. The remaining dozen people are absolutely unknown. What chances do they have on a national footing?
So I thought I would use the 49- O option. Not an easy decision to make or execute. First, I queued up in a booth with early birds all going off to work. Then they couldn’t match my voter ID. I was sent off to the party people to find my number. This took 45 minutes and I was escorted back to a different booth by our ex-Councillor who was happy to use this opportunity to spew abuses on the ruling party/govt. for the poor organization of voter lists.
After all the trouble he took, I was a little loath to turn in a null vote. But I did say “ I want to use the 49- O" loudly enough to create a furor. At first no one understood my request, then the chief officer made me sign in a book and wrote ‘Refused to vote’ which has made me rather sad.
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